Jesus Engaged Friendship Evangelism

I firmly believe that every born again Christian is a God called minister. Too often we limit ministry to those on the platform. As a believer, you are the Lord’s minister and the people in your sphere of influence are your congregation. How do you minister to your congregation? Connect with them so you can connect them to God. How do you connect with them? Through similar interests. The pre-Christians in your community are going to be doing what they love to do anyway. Let’s just invite them to come and do it with us. Will they say yes? Of course! They love to do that! Once we connect with them, based on similar interests, and they realize we are genuine in our motive and we appreciate them for who they are, they will let their guard down and real relationship can take place. This is friendship evangelism. Does this sound familiar? It should. This is exactly what Jesus did. He went to them. He met them on their level. He went into their house for a party. Dare we say it? He had fun with them. He connected with them and developed a relationship with them. This gave people an opportunity to get to know Jesus; and you and I know that to know Him is to love Him. That’s what we want. We want people to get to know our Lord. The point of connecting with them is to give them an opportunity to see Christ in us. Not just at church. Everyone acts spiritual at church. They expect that. What about on the basketball court or out riding horses. How about at a ball game, camping or fishing or playing golf? This is where they can see that we are real. Not like their preconceived idea of what a Christian is like, just a genuine person who wants to be their friend.

The Power Of Relational Discipleship

Connecting Points is built on the premise that there is no discipleship without relationship. That means that we must build relationships with everyone we are called to disciple. We must build relationships with believers and pre-Christians that we intend to impact for the sake of the Gospel. Try giving Spiritual instruction to the next stranger you meet and see how well that goes, or for that matter just walk across to the other side of the church where all those other people sit and share a little direction with them. The badge of discipler is earned through relationship. Without relationship we have no license to lead others, and they have no responsibility to respond. We respond to instruction and counsel from those who, through relationship, we have given the right to do so. Connecting Points is a ministry designed to facilitate discipleship for believers and for people who do not yet know Christ. When Jesus began discipling His followers, they had not yet connected with God personally. Relational discipleship brings people to the place where the conviction of the Holy Spirit can be effective and conversion takes place. After conversion the same relational atmosphere facilitates the work of the Spirit to build and strengthen lives. Imagine couples in your church building Connecting Points around camping or fishing or Nascar racing or antiquing or any other interest they may have. They already do these things and they want to do them with people they enjoy being around. Let’s release them to do what they are already doing, only now for the sake of the Gospel. Just as Jesus is the model for relational discipleship, Connecting Points is committed to its premise: “There is no discipleship without relationship.”

Our Purpose

I think it is important to realize our purpose. God never intended for us to live, buy some things, and die. He wants us to make a difference in the lives of others. When Jesus was ready to leave this world, He left instructions with His disciples in Matthew 28:19-20. He said “go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you” (NLT). Jesus basically told His disciples to become a connecting point. In essence He is saying: “I want you to be with people everywhere. Go to the ends of the earth and build relationships with people so that you may give to them the teachings I have given to you.” This is a statement basic to Christianity; however it seems that our emphasis concerning discipleship is related to believers. We understand that in order to disciple believers we must have relationship with them. But what about pre-Christians? Shouldn’t we build relationships with them to allow the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of the believer to affect their lives? Remember that Jesus started descipling his men before they ever connected with God personally. Jesus said make disciples of all people.

Making Room For One Another

Let me share with you about connecting with one another, making room for one another, making room for our idiosyncrasies, our personalities, and sometimes even our faults. A young army officer was sent to the 48^th Infantry near Frankfurt during the time of the Cold War. In the days that he was in Germany, one of the prize weapons was the 280 mm atomic canon. They were guarded by infantry platoons. On this day, Tom Miller, captain of this particular group assigned a platoon and a young officer to guard one of the 280s. The young officer assembled his men, loaded his 45 caliber pistol, jumped into his jeep and left for his mission. Somehow later in the morning he realized he had lost his 45. You lose a weapon in the Army and it is serious. He was in deep trouble. He had no choice. He had to get on the horn and call Captain Miller and tell him of the loss.

“You what?”

“I’ve misplaced, I’ve lost my 45.”

Later when the young officer returned very uneasily contemplating his fate, the Captain summoned him. Now, he was really on the carpet. He couldn’t imagine the trouble he was in. What would it be? Could it be time in the guard house? Actually, a court marshal could be convened for losing a weapon. Would he get a dishonorable discharge? He told Captain Miller about his carelessness. He looked sternly at that young officer.

“I’ve got something for you.”

He handed the young officer his lost pistol.

“Thank you, sir, where was my pistol?”

“Some kids in the village you went through found it. We heard them fire a shot. We were able to get to them before they got off any more rounds.”

He couldn’t believe it.

“For God’s sake, son, don’t let that happen again.

He drove off. The young officer checked the magazine and found the magazine was full. The gun had not been fired. Later he found he had dropped it in his tent before he ever got started. Captain Miller had fabricated the scene about the kids to give him a real good scare and it worked. Now we don’t know what would happen today if the Army found some young officer that left his pistol lying around somewhere. It’s a serious offense. It’s something that can be dealt with severely.

The point is we should connect with one another and we should bear one another’s burdens because Jesus has chosen to do that with us. When we read the Gospels we see how often the disciples blew it, fell short, let Jesus down, showed little faith, and Jesus still connected with them. He still found reason to disciple them and keep them in the circle. At times they all showed faithlessness. But Jesus kept His relationship with His disciples. His kindness should be a catalyst, a motivation, to reach out to one another in kindness. We must find people with similar interests and connect with them. It is the responsibility for every Christian to build strong relationships with other Christians and pre-Christians.

Captain Miller’s intelligent and kind leadership was not lost on the young officer. He didn’t lose his weapon again. In fact he distinguished himself in his military career. You heard his name over a dozen years ago throughout Desert Storm. He made his name known in every household in America. He developed his leadership skills to such a great degree that when George Bush was elected president he turned to this foolish young lieutenant who left his weapon lying on his bed. He had such confidence in him that he asked Colin Powell to be the Secretary of State of the United States of America.

Discipleship Can Get Messy

I must say, as I look at Jesus’ building relationships, that it is time consuming, requires an intentional willingness to see where people can be and not just where they are now and at times can just be messy. Jesus looked into the eyes of rough fishermen and saw that they could become apostles. We must be willing to do the same thing. We must look around us and see those people who can shine like stars if someone is willing to invest in them. If we are going to connect with one another, we must be willing to make room for one another, our idiosyncrasies, our personalities, and sometimes even our faults. We ought to bear with one another. We ought to build relationships with one another. None of us are perfect. We all have issues, and we all have difficulties in our lives. We all need friends. We all need someone to look after us. We all need someone to look after. There is fulfillment in relationship. The scripture tells us that we’re to have hearts of compassion, that we’re to have hearts of love, that we’re to have kindness and humility and gentleness towards one another. We are to even feel this way toward those who have complaints against us. In other words, find the people you can connect with and connect with them. We’ve all had problems; we’ve all failed in many ways. The point is we should connect with one another and we should bear one another’s burdens because Jesus has chosen to do that with us. When we read the Gospels we see how often the disciples blew it, fell short, let Jesus down, showed little faith, and Jesus still connected with them. He still found reason to disciple them and keep them in the circle. At times they all showed faithlessness. But Jesus kept His relationship with His disciples. His kindness should be a catalyst, a motivation, to reach out to one another in kindness. We must find people with similar interests and connect with them. It is the responsibility for every Christian to build strong relationships with other Christians and pre-Christians.

We Need More Andrews

Mark 1:17 declares: “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” This is what God has called us to do. We are called to be connectors. Connecting Points builds an atmosphere where connecting can take place. A great example of this is the story of Andrew found in John chapter one. Andrew believed that Jesus was the “Lamb of God” and arranged a meeting between Jesus and his brother, Simon. This connection literally changed the course of history. Simon became Peter and the world was impacted by his ministry. We have no written record that Andrew ever preached a sermon or worked a miracle but he did bring Peter to Jesus. Only in heaven will we know how many came to Christ through the preaching and overall ministry of Peter. The point we want to get is that it was Andrew who provided an atmosphere for the connection to take place. Andrew was the connecting point. Connecting points build an atmosphere where people can get connected to Jesus. In a very real sense, connecting point leaders become the Andrews of our day.

The Premise of Connecting Points

The Premise of Connecting Points is that there can be no discipleship without relationship. God is all about community and He works through relationships. Mark 1:17 says: “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” John 13:35 declares: “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” When we are looking for role models for making disciples there is no need to look any farther than Jesus. What was it that made Jesus such a compelling leader of those men? There is no intention of doing an exhaustive look at the subject here; however there is a characteristic that stands out when we observe His connection to the disciples. Jesus built great relationships with the disciples. He spent time with them, He listened to their questions, He ate with them, He got to know their families and of course He taught them. Jesus became the compass for these disciples, and we believe that a major reason for that was that Jesus was intentionally relational. If we embrace the Jesus model of discipleship we must buy into the premise of Connecting Points: There can be no discipleship without relationship.

Where Community Begins.

The kingdom of God benefits when people in the church get connected to each other. It goes something like this: you set up Connecting Points in your church. People in your church sign up and are trained to lead a connecting point based on something that they love to do. Other people in the church who have similar interests (who love the same things) join with them and they connect by participating in the same connecting point. They become fast friends because of what they have in common. Soon they catch the vision for Connecting Points and begin to invite pre-Christians in their own sphere of influence who have similar interests. They get connected and become a part. That is where the Holy Spirit takes over. Can you see how this will transform your church? Everyone in your church is passionate about something. People are different. What one loves, another loathes. You may love sports. Someone else may love to shop. (God help them!) The point is everybody loves something. People are going to be doing what they love to do. Connecting Points shows them how to do what they are going to be doing anyway and do it for the Lord. What a concept. Just being what God made them to be and doing what God made them to do—that becomes their ministry. People love what they love and enjoy what they enjoy because God made them that way. I believe that God made them that way, on purpose, because He wants to use those interests and passions to connect with others. What a wonderful thought. Everybody in your church connecting with each other and with pre-Christians by just doing what they are going to do anyway. There could be as many different Connecting Points as there are interests in your church. You can’t believe how many there are. Now it is getting exciting—people in our church connecting with each other around common interests and passions! This is where community begins. You cannot have real community by staring at the back of a person's head for an hour and a half each week in church. Connecting Points positions people face to face. They have something in common on day one because they are connected around similar interests.

Community In Christ

We were created for each other. Community is a very important value in the church of Christ. It is important to the Lord as well. God never intended for us to be an island to ourselves. Community is the bedrock of our faith and was the backbone of the early church. Notice the description of the first century church in Jerusalem: “All the believers meet together constantly and shared everything with each other” Acts 2:44 (LB). In this day of personal isolationism, connecting is more important than ever before. God does not want us to be loners. Paul made this clear when he wrote the church in Ephesus. “You are members of God’s very own family … and you belong in God’s household with every other Christian” Ephesians 2:19 (LB). In many respects it could be argued we are commanded to be connected with each other. Notice the strong language in Paul’s admonition to the Hebrew believers: “Let us not give up the habit of meeting together. Instead, let us encourage one another…” Hebrews 10:25 (TEV). Community is critical if we hope to have a healthy church. It is a natural law that healthy things are productive. If we hope to produce fruit in the church we must get connected. “The whole body is fitted together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love” Ephesians 4:16 (NLT). How does that sound to you, “Healthy and growing and full of love”? That is what community in the church is all about. As leaders, we are to set the stage for real community to take place by providing an atmosphere where people can connect with other people in the church. The primary goal of each church leader should be to connect people who are pre-Christians to people who are believers so they can be impacted by the lifestyle and testimony of the Christian. We never want to lose sight of this priority.

Lifestyle Mentoring

While in Ephesus, Timothy receives a letter from his mentor. Paul has chosen his closest spiritual child (1 Tim. 1:2) to set forth the organizational values and leadership expectations that would guide the church of Christ and cause it to grow. Timothy was, no doubt, chosen because of Paul’s confidence in him as a leader (Phil. 2:19-22). This confidence was developed through the relationship they had with each other. They had connected. In verses 14 and 15 of 1 Timothy chapter three, we see the purpose of the passage. Paul wants to establish the organizational values and draw a picture of what a leader in this “church of the living God” is supposed to look like. Paul had already modeled this and now formalizes it with this letter. Smith and Goetz describe this type of leadership as “Lifestyle Mentoring”. This has a focus on the lifestyle of the leader (modeling) and defines the values of leadership (the letter). Paul let Timothy observe him at work then he promoted him to the churches. In this letter, he gives the qualifications for the organizational structure previously set up. In the broad sense, we could call Paul a lifestyle mentor to Timothy. “This type of mentoring is a kind of parenting without the typical parental responsibilities. The real responsibility falls on the younger to absorb and to observe correctly.” Paul entrusts Timothy with values in order to insure quality in leadership. This quality in leadership will develop the stability needed to produce growth. Connecting Points is designed to build an atmosphere where “Lifestyle Mentoring” can take place.


Reference:

Smith, F., & Goetz, D. L. (1999). Vol. 5: Leading with integrity : Competence with Christian character. The pastor's soul series . Bethany House Publishers: Minneapolis, Minn. (p. 121)